Secret crushes

So yeah, I've had a secret crush on someone for a couple of months now. Well, it's not a secret to a couple of people, but I know they won't tell ;). One thing that makes it sort of torturous, as secret crushes tend to be, is that I know there is no chance in hell that my interest will ever be reciprocated. However, this lends a sense of safety to the whole matter, since I know nothing will come of it, and therefor I don't have to stress about the potential complications of trying to start another relationship that will, likely as not, end as disastrously as all the others.

My last relationship finally had to be deported after I found out that he's a pathological liar who had me convinced he intended to marry me, his coworkers convinced I didn't exist and he owned my house and my car, and all these people online that he was an Army Ranger stationed in Afghanistan. And then there was the Yahoo chat message, which came a few weeks after we sent him off to his homeland, about how my cruel abandonment of him caused him to develop both lung cancer AND a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball. You think I jest? If only. Lifetime Network, here I come.

And then the boyfriend before him.......sigh.......recently got an email from him after no contact for a good two years, and along with the email were several attached photos of his hands taken perhaps a week or so after he set them on fire. Yes, you read that correctly. Don't ask, I have no idea, and I'm certainly not going to email him to find out. Ah, my relationships. They may not bring me much joy, but they are certainly not boring.

Point being, I am enjoying this secret crush and the safe distance that comes with it. No more crazy, thank you very much. This girl has had her fill. Here endeth the lesson, whatever it is. I think the lesson is "don't date crazy people" but that may be oversimplifying.